I’ve discovered something that I’m sure will shock you. Parenting can be really hard.
I have two girls: Livvy who is 4.5, and Nana who just turned 3. I love them, and I would do anything for them. They truly are sweet girls, and I know how blessed I am to be their mama.
But there are times when frustration overshadows all feelings of love. I get tired of asking them to do something for the 811th time. It tries the very end of my patience when they stubbornly refuse to obey me. I want to bang my head against a wall when the tantrums hit and I cannot for the life of me figure out what it is that set them off, or how long it will be before the shrieking banshee who has replaced my child will take its leave and I can get my sweet girl back.
I love my girls to the moon and back. But can I confess something? Sometimes I don’t like them.
I know feeling this way is normal. I know nobody likes everybody all the time, and that the relationship between parent and child is no exception.
But it began to bother me. One morning, before I started my quiet time, I asked God to help me see my children through His eyes. I know my eyes are faulty—they are skewed by my humanness, tainted by the culture of the world—and God’s eyes are perfect.
Ephesians 5:1-2 says: “Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” (NIV)
God wants me to view my children through eyes of love. Not just any love—His love. The kind of love Jesus demonstrated for us while He was here on earth. The absolutely perfect, sacrificial love that laid everything down for us when we had done nothing to deserve it. In fact, we had done everything to be completely undeserving of it.
No matter how many times my girls make me angry, no matter how their disobedience frustrates me or how their tantrums try the last of my patience, I must continue to view them through the eyes of God’s love.
Because here is the painful truth: I am no better.
How often do I disobey God? How many times do I throw silent tantrums or sulk when I have to do things I don’t want to or when I don’t get my way? How often have I done literally everything to be completely undeserving of God’s love? Yet God still loves me patiently, sweetly, and graciously. He never loses His temper with me. He never yells. He never turns His back and huffs away.
So the next time you have reached the end of your own love for those around you, call to mind just how perfectly God loves your imperfect self. Ask Him to help you view those who frustrate you through His perfect eyes of love. Then take a deep breath and allow God to shift your perspective from yours to His, and enjoy the miracle of totally selfless love.